Mimetic Desire
by JuniperLemon
Summary: Sam and Dean both work in a garage. Sam doesn't realise he has fallen in love until he almost loses them to someone else.


Sam wheeled himself back on his office chair and yes, of course he felt like a child every time he got to push himself across the room with the tiny chair wheels spinning wildly. He grabbed the file he needed and pushed back while mentally yelling "Wheeeee".

The garage had been quiet today which allowed for him to catch up on some invoices from the previous few days that had begun piling up. From out the window he could see the mechanics bent over the cars or under the front with slicks of grease on their blue overalls. His eyes focused on the furthest away: Dean Winchester. He was the newest member having only been here about 6 months but Sam already had a great relationship with him. Shaking his head, the man slid back to his desk and began typing rapidly on the computer.

Sam wasn't sure how long it had been when someone knocked on his office door but his eyes were beginning to feel weary from staring at the bright screen. He blinked to clear his vision and turned to face the entrance.

"Come in?" He asked. A smile spread across his lips when Dean stepped in with a apprehensive smile.

"Hey, Sam. How you doing?" He asked as his green eyes scanned around the small office at all the files and paperwork. Winchester had always claimed that working inside an office would drive him to insanity and told Sam of this fact almost daily.

"Good, good. How about you?" Sam replied easily, an automatic smile curling his lips. Dean always somehow managed to brighten his day.

"Um, yeah. That's what I wanted to talk to you about." Dean hesitated before leaning against Sam's desk with a slight sign. He ignored the creak the surface cried out, "I've been thinking about asking Lucas on a date with me."

He carefully watched Sam's reaction.

Sam carefully schooled his reaction.

The accountant couldn't stop the lines forming between his eyebrows, "Lucas? Why do you want to date Lucas?"

Dean shrugged slightly, already managing to sense Sam's disapproval, "I don't know, man. It's been a while since I've been out with anyone and Lucas is nice."

"Lucas is nice? Dean, he's a dick." He didn't bother disguising his disgust this time, "You deserve better than Lucas! You've seen how he treats the people he's dated and you shouldn't put yourself through that. You know you're worth more." Sam folded his arms across his chest.

Dean looked hopeful, "You really think so?"

Sam huffed a laugh, "Dean you're a good looking guy. If you just put yourself out there for once I know you'd be snapped up in seconds. You'd be fighting them off with a- a, "He glanced around the office for a suitable weapon, "A lamp... okay, that was a bad example but seriously, I know you and people will be lining up for even a chance to be with you! Guaranteed!" Sam suddenly realised he was sounding way too over enthusiastic, "But, um, I mean it's up to you. If you like Lucas then go for it!" He tried to plaster a smile across his face.

"Yeah... I don't know." He sounded undecided and accidentally smeared grease on the back of his neck as he rubbed it, "Thanks, man." He headed to leave.

"No problem." Sam muttered feebly as Dean pulled the door shut.

As soon as the coast was clear Sam's heart dropped and he threw his head down onto his desk. Slapping his hand against the surface he groaned out loud and felt a maelstrom of emotions inside his chest. This was unexpected. He hadn't even realised he'd liked Dean in that way until he'd just discovered he might lose him to Lucas. Sam felt heavy and drained so good thing it was nearly time to leave.

When the clock finally ticked over, Sam slipped out the garage quickly and without a word to anyone. He usually stayed a little late just to wrap things up but just for today that could wait for tomorrow. He wanted out. Nobody saw him leave and he was grateful for that.

* * *

The car journey home was silent and filled with reflection. How long had this been happening to him? Had Sam liked Dean from day one but seen him as unobtainable so avoided emotionally confronting himself? How could suddenly be so jealous of Lucas when the man didn't even know Dean was going to ask him out?

Sam sighed and rubbed his face while stopped at a red light. He leant his head back against the headrest. Why did it feel as though he'd just experienced a break up?

Ice cream was his only friend and even that was hurting him; his hands were getting cold and the condensation was making them wet. He promised himself he wasn't going to cry and so far had managed to live up to that pledge but he'd come close. The idea of losing someone he'd only just realised he loved was heart wrenching.

Sam huffed to himself, "This is pathetic. I'm sat here pining over some guy that doesn't even know I like him."

His eye caught sight of his cell phone sat on the small coffee table beside his couch. Sam's mouth opened slightly as an idea struck him but he hesitated before slowly reaching out for the phone. His long fingers hovered over the unlock button as his mind raced to dissuade him. He shouldn't do this. It's going to be a mistake. He will forever regret it.

He pulled up Dean's number and clicked the button before even planning what to say.

"Hello?"

"... I don't want you to be with Lucas because I want to be with you instead." He blurted out, not eloquent but it got his feelings across.

There was a beat of silence.

* * *

~2 years later ~

"Your uncle Bobby." Sam said to remind Dean.

The list sat between them at the table. The names were written in Dean's messy scrawl but each had been carefully considered before being added to the list. The older man added the name instantly without even having to ponder it.

Dean spoke up then, "Lucas?"

Sam looked appalled, "Lucas from the garage? Are you serious?! You want to invite Lucas to our wedding?!"

Dean chuckled slightly to himself, "In a way he did get us together though."

"Only because you were going to date him!"

Dean bit his lip to contain his smirk, "We can invite him and sit him next to all the people we don't like..."

Sam's face lit up, "Add him now."


End file.
